It can't be changed, that's just the way it is. The ones we love the most, are the ones we hurt the most. What brings about this almost naturally schizophrenic behaviour? Maybe it is nature's rule and we just don't know it. That would explain a lot.
So what are we measuring here? Endurance? Depth? Density? Intensity? And what do our results tell us? How are our caring suckers scoring? The ones that do pass our tests are sadly the ones that will continue to be grueled so long, till they finally succumb and get flung onto the pile of other victims. The remains of the people who have loved us.
So how big is your pile? What's your score?