Eyes

Eyes

Friday, 9 April 2010

Listen to your heart.

This will be a brief excursion into the past.
It's been five months since I've been in Munich. I'm giving Germany another go. It's September, and I'm wondering what the winters' will be like while I shiver right through this so-called summer. It will get colder, they promise, nodding at my hopelessness. How could my imagination be stretched that far? Cold, as I knew it, was 25°C. My mind or body knew nothing of what was to come.

Our first few encounters were casual, were there any give away signs of the turn ahead? We talked a lot, laughed, then laughed some more. The laughing, that was special. Something was happening here, undeniably. That's my strength though, denying the undeniable. So I denied it. It was easier this way than to untangle all the tangled strings attached ahead, attached to accepting. A German-Indian association of this kind can only spell trouble. How would you begin tackling the whole rigmarole of who's going to sacrifice what, in which country/home, for whom? Would you and Germany be a package deal? The more I think of it, the more I'm convinced, denial is a good strategy.

We liked to climb, indoor rock climbing was our favorite alibi activity to do something together without having to define it as a date. One does possibly build up an appetite after such activity, a detail we may have overlooked. So we end one such rock climbing evening, dining together. Having been longing for sea food, all those months away from home, I order something with shrimps. Did I reckon with this lone shrimp eating experience to be so defining of the rest of my adult life to date? You tell me?? What are the chances? I reacted brutally and aggressively to the shrimps that night, my first allergic reaction to shrimps in all of my shrimp-eating life! I had to leave the restaurant as my stomach started to churn and my face started to sprout into the kind of over sized swellings that would make Gollum squirm! By the time you came to check on me, suspicious by my delay, I was ashen and ready to drop. And drop, I did. Right into your arms, not quite the way you imagined it I'm sure!

Later at the emergency room and through the night I spent being sick, under your caring (horrified) watch. There was no denial possible anymore. Not even for me. The first winter of my life was warmed with young love. Listen to your heart.

-Nauseous(ly) yours!

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