Tuesday, 19 July 2011

What we want.

It's not about the destination, but about the journey. It's not about the acquisition, but about the quest.  It's not about the accomplishment, but about the challenge. It's not about the conquest, but about the fight. What we want is who we are. Desire of these, is fuel. Attainment results in a sluggishness, a disillusionment. Till the fuel of new desire is sparked again. It's a continual cat and mouse chase. Round and round, dizzying, spiraling, disorienting, lost?

Maybe not entirely. Maybe it's about nursing our own little bubble perceptions of our world. Built on the boundless freedom of fantasy.  Precariously blown bubbles, elated into the illusions we want to nurture. Illusions we can't, don't want to differentiate from reality. To stay on the journey, to never arrive. To continue to acquire, to never have. To continue to fight, to never conquer, or be defeated. To continue to covet, to never posses. There is excitement in an elusive outcome. Something infinite. An endless sense of possibility. How final (and disappointing?) it is to posses your dream woman/man, your dream home, your dream car and realize they don't quite resemble your fantasy of them. It doesn't provide quite the kick you were anticipating. The dream in your mind was beautiful, perfect. The reality of real things, real people with real faults, bear but a distant resemblance to the bubble in your mind. Yearning was occupying, fulfilling. It's what makes the painful rejection of unrequited love so pleasurable, an image of continuos perfection, a one sided yet 'happy love' without any movement or action. Isn't the consummation of love where all love stories end? There is an analogy here to most things we seek. The glossy, exotic pictures of the dream holidays built in our minds that don't consider the reality of travel. To struggle and strive for the ultimate job, only to turn back and see the fun might already be over. Impossibility is intoxicatingly attractive. As long as it is impossible.

Wanting the impossible, wanting all our dreams to come true.
That is what we want. To want.

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